I cant beleive I have been for Hajj, Alhamdulillah :)
It was super fantastci, I loved the expereince of hajj, so symbolic and so powerful. I felt so close to Allah, I sae Him everywhere, I felt Him all the time...no where else in the world comes close...
Of course I missed home, but I didnt miss the worldliness of this place...
Going away really helped me break through the routine of my life..I no longer say"on saturdays I have to do this..." etc I just make up things as the time goes along. I also re evaluate everything..is this worth it? Is this worth my time? Can i push myself? Why cant I read more after salaah? What am I replacing with extra reading and sitting on the musallah?
I cant belive how I actually changed my dressing, Alhamdulillah! Wearing abaya/cloak now :) Look its hard, im not going to lie..at work anyway..but so far havent found a single reason strong enough to tell me to stop so here goes, IA!
Strong faith is the biggest lesson for me...believing in Allah and seeing duas come true is what I learnt the most...God, I miss that place soo much! Everyone doing the same thing, thinking the same thing, for one purpose alone,..powerful!
And Madinah.....Ya Allah i LOVED it so much...so beautiful..I really felt so close to Rasullulah (SAW)...spoke to him, cried by him..made so much dua in Masjidun Nabawi
Id love to go again IA..but with a breakand after longing to go again...to really appreciate it
My 40 days are up tomorrow..im not my own again :) May Allah accept all my duas, all our prayers, our Hajj and everything we do from now onwards
Oh also tawaf...knowing that all your duas are accepted! so mashallah! i just asked and asked for everything that I wanted...I want it all to come true, IA.
just want to keep it up IA!
Thursday, February 07, 2008
So now im requested by management to "self market" myself! I dont know how to do this and still maintain my values of Islam..ie humility, no pride, not brining attention to yourself! a bit of a mixup ill say! They say that I do everything and all my work so well but I dont involve anyone in the process..i work hard and then present the end result ( which is always good, Alhamdulillah) but now they want me to keep telling people what im busy with, how hard Im working etc...i cant do that! in my religon we take least credit for everything..thats the beauty of it all...you shine more like that...these stupid western values of attention seeking..i dont know how to do it :(
i dont know if i should be doing it!
and also it seems liek in every circumstance i must punt myself ( not directly) but use every chance to show them what im upto, how proactive i am, how im interetsed in other things...
tough one...need to think hard about this...have people before me done the same?